Children can be oppositional and defiant when they feel forced to do something or when their wants and needs are ignored. This is especially the case with young children and children with disabilities who can have a great deal of trouble expressing themselves. Lack of agency, not feeling heard, and difficulty expressing wants and needs can even result in violent outbursts and tantrums.
One tactic used to circumvent or diffuse those situations is to offer the child a choice. One of the least effective choices in the long run is some variation of, “my way or the highway.” It tends to build-up contempt over time and can result in nasty blow-ups. But there are other kinds of choices that tend to work more often and don’t have as many negative outcomes. One is to offer the child two options: the first is what the adult wants them to do and the second is something the child definitely wouldn’t choose on her own but it seems much more reasonable to her than simply, “do it or be punished.” Another common approach is to give the child two choices that appear different when they are actually just slight variations of the same thing. These last two choices are essentially false choices and usually require the child to be young or have special needs, or both. When children begin to grow up, they have a much easier time seeing when they are being manipulated.
At this point, either you are trying to figure out what I’m talking about or why I’m talking about it, or an analogy is becoming crystal clear in your mind. Here it is:
We, the voters, the citizens (and I use that term loosely), are perceived by the power elite as potentially violent, disabled (no voice) children. A great deal of time, effort, and money has been spent to insure that we only have two parties to choose from (de facto, if not de jure). They are both business parties essentially controlled by corporations. So, when the “democratic process” deigns it, we “make a choice” like responsible big boys and girls and feel like we have some semblance of agency in the workings of “government” (and yes, I use the term loosely). Those who still even bother to vote that is. If you look-up the statistics you will find astonishingly low voter turnout numbers in the u.s.a for almost all elections.
Of course, at this late date in our “grand experiment” we are usually holding our proverbial nose while marking a ballot or checking a box and uttering the phrase, “lesser of two evils” or something a bit harsher if we have the energy for it. Our so-called representatives don’t represent the majority of us, and those who do have no real power. In other words, if you look at the majority of people who don’t vote and the minority of people who do vote but don’t like the choices offered to them, the false choice technique is on the wane. But, surprisingly, it still seems to be serving its intended purpose. In some ways, better than ever.
When you hear genuine applause from working people for candidates who are millionaires funded by billionaires, you know the potentially violent children with disabilities are going to stay compliant because they feel they are essentially in control of their lives and their choices – the choices they are given of course…
What happens when all of us realize we have been manipulated with the ruse of the false choice? Well, our corporate rulers and their government functionaries will revert to more direct methods to force us into compliance.
Ok, the analogies are over.
Good luck to us all.